Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
