Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize