I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
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