im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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