dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i've created a new STD.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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