he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
