my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
