Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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