Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize