why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
