im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
