Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just invented taco cereal.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize