it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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