I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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