Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
