i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
