bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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