honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
