Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
