Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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