no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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