They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
50% drunk capacity currently
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
