Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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