im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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