Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
