Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
