Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
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