K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
