I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
