I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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