Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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