Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
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The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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