Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
