She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
