i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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