I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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