You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
