I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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