i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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