He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
