I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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