dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
