apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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