Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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