I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
