Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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