i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
