You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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