Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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