She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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