Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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