My hand turned me down
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
