Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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