I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
