I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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