____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
