.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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