I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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