I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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