What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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