eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
