You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
